Father and Son
by Mitheithel
Summary: Just a look at Thranduil and Legolas's relationship w/ lil legolas, oh and it's a loving relationship. Updated!!! Please R
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I own nothing. That's right nothing. So don't sue.  
  
A/N- I plan on continuing this through Legolas's childhood to show the father/son relationship thing. I always thought Thranduil was a good non-abusive father who just got a bad rep in the Hobbit. I thought I should just share my opinion in my story.. Please R&R constructive criticism is welcome flames are laughed at. Please enjoy.  
  
*The Father and Son Series: The Shirt*  
  
"NO!" A shrill voice cut the night air like a warm knife through butter. The owner of the voice, a small elven child, burst through the doors opening to his room and made his way rapidly down the hall, pale blond hair streaming behind him. His attendant trailed after him, holding the offending article of clothing that had sent the young prince running.  
  
"You WILL wear this shirt Master Legolas!" The elf maid called to him. While not old, as elves never age, her face showed creases telling years of service raising the heirs to the throne of Mirkwood. Although most were rambunctious, none were as bad as little Legolas. He was impossible, much like his father, Hirith recalled, remembering the trouble the current king had given her when he was only Legolas's age. With a sigh the old elf set off after the young Prince.   
  
She did not have far to go, as she spotted his fair hair sticking out about the foliage of the plant he had sought refuge in.   
  
"Even though you blend in exceptionally well with the foliage, young master, you still stick out like a sore thumb with that hair of yours." The young child stiffened when addressed, pale blue eyes peeping out from behind the foliage. The child began to giggle at his nurse, as if this was some grand joke that only he could comprehend until his eyes fell upon the appalling shirt. The laughter died on his lips, the sight of the evil shirt sending him scampering for a better hiding spot.   
  
"Oh no you don't!" Hirith cried, reaching forward to grab the child before he got free again. Her hands moved to grab his shirt, belatedly realizing the child was topless. Yet another problem to contend with. "Master Legolas it is most improper for young Princes to run around half nude! Do you want people to believe you are a savage?" Hirith realized that rationalizing with Legolas was akin to feeding a troll vegetables. They just didn't go together. Gathering her skirts about her, Hirith set about chasing the young Prince, hoping she was still fast enough to catch the little "cherub". Although the longer this affair lasted the more he looked like a demon to her.  
  
Little Legolas's eyes got as big as saucers as he saw his nurse bearing down on him with hated shirt in tow. He turned and ran as fast as his legs could take him to the one person who could possibly save him from the possessed nurse.  
  
"DADDY!!!" He squealed in his high-pitched voice, the kind that never fail to produce a raging migraine. He burst through the wide, wooden doors that led to his father's chambers. "Daddy help!!!" he cried, knocking over several things as he searched the chambers for sings of his father. Thranduil, King of Mirkwood arrived, long knives in hand ready to defend his youngest offspring. Relief shone on his fair face as he saw his child unharmed and whole.   
  
"Legolas, whatever is the matter?" he asked his youngest son, and perhaps his favorite as well. His other sons would make any father proud, but none had the innocence his youngest had. They had lost their own defending Mirkwood and to their own ambition. But the time to pick the best son would come later, as he had no need to name an heir immediately. Mirkwood was at peace and he felt no need to journey to the west. Rather his immediate concern was to determine the cause of his youngest's panic.  
  
Legolas snuggled up against his father, glad for the attention and physical contact. Thranduil could not help but smile. "Legolas…" He said in just the way that only a parent could do in which a mere name can mean paragraphs of information. In this instance it was a mild warning and a cue for Legolas to tell him what was wrong.  
  
"Ish 'ink." He responded, his words slurred by the layers of robe that he had shoved his head through.   
  
"I'm sorry my little one, but I couldn't quite catch what you said, what with the fabric in the way in all." Legolas removed his head from his father's chest and looked up in his father's face.  
  
"It's pink."  
  
"What was?"  
  
"The shirt. Hiwith said I gotta wear it for the ball but I don't wanna. You won't make me will you Daddy?" Legolas peered anxiously into his father's face. "I'll look like a girl!"  
  
"No, I believe that's Elrond's place in life."  
  
"Who's Elwon?" Legolas asked, intrigued by the idea of an elf who actually wanted to look like the opposite sex. Thranduil laughed.  
  
"He's an…acquaintance of mine and Lord of Imladris. But don't let me taint you! Pass your own judgments on people, and trust your heart."  
  
"Oh." Legolas said, a little disappointed that he wouldn't have the chance to meet a cross-dressing elf. He was about to speak when Hirith burst in, out of breathe and wheezing from the exertion of running. Her easy living inside the palace had not kept her in prime shape.   
  
"Oh, sorry my Lord, I was just trying to fetch Legolas and get him ready for the ball this evening…I had not meant to intrude."  
  
"It's quite alright. However, we do have a problem involving the shirt…Legolas seems to feel it doesn't have the masculine edge he requires." Thranduil said, highly amused with the current situation. He eyed the shirt, no ruffles, no lace and barely the slightest color to it at all. Leave it to Legolas to raise the dead over a pink-hued shirt.   
  
"My Lord, he has no other clean shirts… They are all being washed to get that sap out of them since he has taken to climbing pines." Hirith was looking rather flustered, but Thranduil shook his head and whispered "He must learn a lesson, do not worry so." in her ear. Hirith visibly relaxed, glad not to have offended her liege. Legolas whimpered, his father always told him to listen to his heart and right now it was telling him that he was getting the pink shirt.  
  
"Well, Legolas, you really can't tell the color, and it could be worse!" Hirith offered.  
  
"Think of it as a character building experience." Thranduil added, taking the shirt and helping to put it on Legolas. "And besides no one you know will be there." Hirith held out her hand, ready to lead the Prince back to his chambers to work on his rat's nest of hair.  
  
"But it's pink.." Legolas muttered dejectedly.  
  
"Well then, maybe if you hadn't climbed in the pine trees after I asked you not to you might have some shirts left." Thranduil responded. Legolas looked down. He was wrong and he knew it. Thranduil planted a kiss on his head. " See you at the ball." He called as Hirith led Legolas away.  
  
END  
  
Thanks for reading, now PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I wanna know if I should continue on with the ball or skip to an older time! oh yea and the whole Elrond thing, nuttin personal, heck i luv elrond hes one of my fav characters... 


	2. The Ball

Disclaimer- I own nothing, well except for a CPU that vibrates so much I have to kick every so often to make sure it doesn't fall. So don't sue me.   
  
A/N OMIGOSH! I'm sorry I took 4ever and a day to do this next chapter!well I was busy, Thank you for waiting. Now I want it to be clear I have absolutely NOTHING AGAINST HOMOSEXUALS, in fact I am frenz with a few. THIS WAS NOT MEANT TO POKE FUN AT THEM AT ALL, I have nothing against them, I was just reminded of an amusing moment when my lil cousin had to tackle the concept of homosexuality. I apologize if any one is offended. However, if you feel the need to flame me about it, press the back button.   
  
  
  
The Father and Son Series: The Ball  
  
The hall expressed the opulence of the Kingdom. The tables were laden with food; sumptuous pastries, delicately carved ice statues, and the meat: flawlessly prepared. Candles shed light on the festive scene from their perch in the brass sconces that adorned the wall.   
  
The elves in attendance were jovial and merry. They danced and had fun in the carefree manner that only an elf could manage. Among those in attendance was a party of elves from Imladris, including Elrond Half Elven and his faithful companion, Glorfindel. They were greeted and treated hospitably as it was a time of peace between the two elven nations.   
  
In general, a sense of peace pervaded the festivities and everyone quite enjoyed themselves. That is except for the sulking blonde boy in the corner with his pallid pink shirt.   
  
"It **is** pink!" he grumbled to himself, plucking self-consciously at his garment. He was convinced that everyone was staring at him and laughing at him behind his back. However, his gloomy mood was not perpetual, as young Legolas was a cheerful child. His foul mood abated and the young prince moved on to bigger and better things.  
  
This involved spying on the serving maids. The older elves were older than he was and this instilled in him a sense of respect for his elders, but they were not old enough yet to become as boring as Hirith. They spoke of lively, interesting things. Legolas loved to sit and listen to them gossip, it never failed to provide him with interesting new information.  
  
"And then her best friend came up to me and asked me if she was a lesbian!"   
  
"I knew it! She was too perfect! She had to have a flaw!"  
  
"A lesbian? I dunno, I always thought she liked Hiradan."   
"Yea, but you know, some guys like lesbians." Legolas wanted to be one of these guys. He didn't know what a lesbian was but it sure did sound interesting.  
  
"Eew! I don't even wanna think about how some guys get off watching.."  
  
"So she's bi?" Now Legolas was terribly confused. He mentally stored away key phrases in his mind to use later. It would make him look cool, he was certain.   
  
"You perv!"  
  
"Speaking of pervs, Elrond of Rivendell is over there, and you all know the rumors about him and that serving maid of his!" Legolas pondered this, why would there be rumors of maids serving a lord. It was their job.  
  
"Gives us all a bad name!"  
  
"Oh Threth! You'd do the same with Thranduil!" Legolas perked at the mention of his father's name.   
  
"Welll…" The maids giggled.  
  
"That Glorfindel has a fine ass if I do say so myself. I'd like to slap it!" Again the maids twittered amongst themselves. Legolas was doubly confused, why would anybody want to slap a donkey. Their twittering was about to become their downfall, Legolas realized as he saw Hirith coming their way. He carefully scurried off so as not to be seen. Some day he would have to teach the ladies how to avoid Hirith in exchange for all the information they provided him. He giggle when their twittering turned into sounds of dismay when Hirith caught them. It was good to know he wasn't the only one tormented by the controlling Hirith.   
  
He was about to raid a nearby tray of pastries, when a pair of strong hands grabbed him from behind.  
  
"There you are! I've looked all over for you!"  
  
"Daddy!"   
  
"Yes, who did you expect? An orc?"  
  
"Orcs can't come here! You won't let them." Thranduil smiled, wishing it were only that easy.  
  
" I have a mission for you, Legolas." Legolas immediately perked at the idea of being able to do something to prove his worth.  
  
"What!?!"  
  
"I need you to serve as a diplomatic aide to the party from Rivendell."  
  
"What do I hafta do?"  
  
"You must keep them company and talk with them. But I warn you, this is an important task!"  
  
"I'll do it!"  
  
"Alright then, Legolas, meet Glorfindel. Glorfindel, meet your new liaison, you don't mind?" Glorfindel smiled and shook his head.  
  
"I would much enjoy Prince Legolas's company. I'm sure Lord Elrond will as well." Thranduil and Glorfindel proceeded to speak amongst themselves and other important looking officials. To Legolas, this was all very boring and formal. However, he had a job to do and he was going to do it! He gazed at each of the tall adults, trying to appear wise and attentive. His interest was peaked when a tall, dark haired elf approached the group.   
  
"Lord Elrond." The tall 'Glorfindel' stated. The tall elf Elrond merely nodded. Legolas gasped.  
  
"You aren't Elrond!" He cried. Elrond looked confused.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yea, Elrond wears dresses, and it is a well known fact that he is a "perv"." Legolas thought that this would make him seem very intelligent and well-versed in the matters of court. Elrond's jaw dropped. A look of amusement crossed his age-less face.   
  
"Well, you certainly know a lot, where did you hear this."  
  
"From a good source."  
  
"Oh?" Now Elrond was positive it was Thranduil. By Elbereth, he hadn't dressed in drag in over a thousand years, leave it to Thranduil to remember that though. Oh no, he couldn't possibly remember *that*..could he? "What else did you hear?"  
  
Legolas was quiet for a moment, he couldn't quite remember what came next. Something about asses, no wait donkeys. "It is said that Glorfindel is a lesbian, and has a nice donkey."  
  
"A lesbian?! Donkeys?"  
  
"Yea he slaps asses. That makes him a lesbian." Ai Elbereth! Elrond thought, He remembers!   
  
A/n Srry that sucked, yea it came out rushed. Please review. 


	3. Later that night at the Ball

Disclaimer- I got NADA!  
  
A/N- Oh wow, I'm so glad you reviewed, it made me so happy, I wanted to make other ppl happy so I wrote, even though I might piss someone off with my writing but W/E!!! As some ppl who flamed my other story need to learn, it's a form of expression so THERE MEANIES HA! LOSERS. Ahem, I hope you enjoy, I decided to shed some light on what really happened w. Elrond due to a review so here you go, please R&R-  
  
*The Ball Cont*  
  
  
Night had wrapped its dark cloak upon the lands of Middle Earth, yet the elves of Mirkwood carried on with their festivities. As the night progressed, the little ones were sent to bed while there elders remained, breaking out the strong liquor. The party grew in intensity and wildness, elves everywhere breaking out of their stoic shells and becoming feral with the liquor. However, one group did not seem as carefree as the others.  
  
Sitting together in an alcove, a group of regal looking elves spoke together in earnest.  
  
"Something must be done," Elrond proclaimed loudly, banging his hand on the table in what he hoped was a show of his masculinity. The Lord of Rivendell had been deeply affected that night by Legolas' careless words, forced to relive that painful moment in his life…  
  
  
**Flashback** (A/N this 'lil scene gets a bit…er raunchy but you don't gotta read! And its not *that* bad)  
  
"Thish ish good shtuff!" Elrond proclaimed loudly to Glorfindel, slurring his speech while gulping as much Dwarvish ale as he could. Rivulets of the amber ale streamed down his face.  
  
"I'm… I'm…" Glorfindel tried to talk around his jug of ale. "I'm BAMBOOZELED!" He announced happily. Elrond snorted then began to cackle. The pair began to break out in hysterics, the ale sloshing on the ground around them. Had they not been trashed they would have noticed Thranduil approaching them across the grounds.   
  
"Is everything all right?" He asked dryly, eyeing the inebriated pair with distaste.   
  
"We's bamboozeled!" Elrond replied brightly. Glorfindel who had been drinking from a puddle of ale on the marble floor, eyed the newcomer.   
  
"Hey baby, waz a niiice place like you doing in a girl like this?"  
  
"I beg your pardon!?" Thranduil barked, unsure if he had heard Glorfindel correctly.  
  
"Alwight baby! Wanna play haahd ti-get huh?" With elven speed the ancient elve's hand had struck out, contacting with the King of Mirkwood's rump. Needless to say, the aforementioned king nearly died of shock until…  
  
"Wow, 'ou are a pretty 'un, C'mere!" Elrond reached out and grabbed the king snaking his hands behind his head and firmly planting a kiss on Thranduil's lips. His tongue slipped out, making contact with Thranduil's. Glorfindel rose and stood behind the king, his hands stroking the kind's back. Things started to heat up until…  
  
"By Elbereth what are you doing? Is this how you treat all your diplomatic liaisons??!" Thranduil roared. Elrond grinned, rolling his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Glorfindel promptly vomited on Thranduil's shoes and passed out.  
  
**End Flashback** (see not so bad…)  
  
Elrond shuddered at the memory. It had taken him a solid day to convince Thranduil that it hadn't been him, but the liquor. Ever since then, their relationship had been strained. He glanced at Glorfindel who was eyeing him strangely. The blonde elf had no memory of the night and therefore had no idea why his lord was acting so odd.  
  
"Really, and just what do you propose we do, Lord Elrond?" Alaguar, Captain of the Guards demanded. "Do you just propose to march in there without a plan like some drunken dwarf in heat?" Elves around the table winced at his choice of words, dwarvish heat was not something to joke about. "I do not think you should take such a situation lightly, my lord. These are not common foes, but rather those which possess such malevolent qualities as to turn one's hair white!" Elrond blinked in amazement, glancing nervously at a very confused Glorfindel. Had he been misinformed…?  
  
"Horrible! They come from above, the sides, hell, even below! They fight like dwarves on Gandalf's virility potion! They fight to the death, scratch and Ai! The teeth, they bite worse than a dwarf's love bite in the middle of a steamy night of passion!" Elves all around the table were beginning to look a green at the use of the words " steamy night of passion" and "dwarf" in the same sentence.  
  
Elrond was getting rather nervous. He knew he had been distracted this night (with good reason!) but he knew he had not forgotten the reason for coming to Mirkwood.   
  
"Forgive me Alaguar, but are we not discussing the matter of the Chaaliam Squirrel infestation our lands are dealing with?" Elrond added tentatively. The old warrior turned his dark head to Elrond and nodded, stating gravely,  
  
"Such an infestation of tremendous proportions the likes of which we have never seen before, my lord."  
  
"Right, but…" How to put this in terms delicate enough…  
  
"Aren't you overreacting? They are just squirrels." Good old Glorfindel, always there when needed.  
  
"JUST Squirrels?!?" Alaguar raged. "Ai, such an understatement! Those bastards, they're terrible! You think they're just squirrels, ha! Wait till you see them in action! One of them, they jumped us when we were out on border patrol," His eyes gained the far off look of one reliving a painful experience. "We tried to hold them back, really, but they just kept coming. Then Tanar fell off his horse, and a big one, he got my ear…" With a slightly shaking hand, he peeled back the dark curtain of hair to reveal a perfect elven ear with a tiny band-aid placed over the lobe. "'Tis as painful as the burn one acquires from a dwarf's beard on one's more intimate…" He was cut off by a younger elf passing out while another raced to the lavatory. "Ah! Think that's bad you should see them, teeth, claws, GRR!" Alaguar promptly began to demonstrate the squirrel's fighting techniques, clawing the air with his hands and snapping his teeth. Thranduil, supporting the unconscious elf with his hands, trying to prevent him from drowning in his sleep, signaled several servants to take the youth away.  
  
"Alaguar." He began. "I appreciate your briefing, it will prove most useful, I'm sure. In the meantime, there is a disturbance in the…" he searched for the right place to send his captain… the elf that had escaped to the lavatory was just emerging…no that wouldn't do. Images sprang to his mind of Alaguar preventing anyone from using the facilities before he had searched them. The bar? No that would bring up bad memories… "The storeroom. Yes, some mild disturbance where your experience is required." Alaguar puffed up with pride and set off to complete his task. Thranduil meanwhile turned back to his guests.  
Glorfindel turned to Elrond.   
  
"Well, that was queer." Glorfindel began. Elrond immediately looked up, Thranduil's eyes met him, narrowing slightly.  
  
"Forgive him, he has never recovered from the time he became inebriated upon ale and slept with a dwarf. Normally he isn't quite so open about his…experience."  
  
"It is perfectly alright." The two elven lords stared at each other for a few tense seconds.  
  
"Yes, well, I plan to begin the extermination as soon as possible." Thranduil began.  
  
"Yes! Of course, as soon as possible."  
  
"However, the youths might be affected… what with all the excitement, there will be few to watch them."   
  
"Yes, I was sending my own to Lothlorien. Perhaps we could pick up Legolas along the way?" Thranduil studied Elrond carefully, trying to find an ulterior motive. Finding the elf lord to be honest in his intentions he agreed. He was about to talk when a terrified scream cut him off…  
  
"Legolas!" He sprang from his seat and raced to his son's side. The youngster, tears streaming down his face latched onto his father.  
  
"Legolas, what's the matter?"  
  
The child managed to mutter between his sobs : "He got Pookie!" Thranduil recognized the name of Legolas's stuffed bear.   
  
"Who did?"  
  
"Him!" He screamed in a childish fit of rage. The object of his anger was a small dog, with a torn up bear laying between his paws. The other elves who had accompanied him dispersed, seeing the situation as normal, or as normal as things ever were with Legolas.  
  
"Oh. Legolas, it's just a bear…"   
  
"It's not jut a bear it's Pookie!" He raged, his fury soon turned to sadness and he began to sob. "Da..Daddy! M mmake him betteeer!" He soon was whining. Thranduil rubber his temples. Where was a good bottle of wine when he needed one? He gingerly retrieved the torn bear, and berated the dog.   
  
"You'll make him better, now?" Legolas asked looking up at him with wide blue eyes, which held the tell-tale   
if-you-don't-do-this-for-me-I'll-crawl-in-a-hole-and-die-and-it-will-be-all-your-fault look. Thranduil sighed, where was Hirith when he needed her?   
  
"Of course, see all he needs is a little bandaging."  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"Sure." Picking up some of the linen napkins, Thranduil bandaged the bear as best he could. Which proved to be a difficult task.  
  
"See all you must do is take this and tie it like so…#%$^! Stay put! Then you !@&*! Argh! And then you…$#^*!" Thranduil was having extreme difficulty with the task, Legolas meanwhile had pulled up a chair and was watching with great amusement. Finally, when Thranduil was about to throw the mangled bear into the nearest fire and give up Hirith arrived. Grinning, she took the bear from the stressed out king.  
  
"Clearly you didn't pay attention to your me all those years ago." She added. Thranduil groaned.   
  
"Legolas, you need to go to bed. We have a big day tomorrow."   
  
"Alright daddy. But you gotta tuck me in."  
  
Whatever Legolas wanted at this point, Thranduil didn't care, he picked up his son, nodding affirmative.  
  
"And you gotta read me the little Elvish Horse that Could." How many times had he read that story? About a million, to each of his children, but he no longer cared. He nodded.  
  
"And you gotta sing the Honeybee song." Another nod. Whatever it took, so that he could get some peace and quiet.  
  
"And then we gotta…"  
  
Hirith grinned at the retreating pair. They were so cute together, Father and son.   
  
End.  
  
Whheew! It's gotta be at least 100 degrees in this room! Fan, must have fan…  
Well, I hope you like it, I kinda pushed it a lil, but I figured I owe you guys, your so nice reviewing. My depression has lifted so I hope to type the next chapter ASAP before I get bogged down in finals. Arwen is coming soon! Heheh. Ok ppls now please REVIEW!!! 


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